At least all that poking around deserted stores in search of portable heaters has finally stopped now that the gas is back on, and that's nice, yeah? Not that poking around deserted stores in search of portable heaters isn't mildly diverting. These time-skips that we seem to keep having, however, are a bit more what I'm used to. I'll have to look into that, matters of time being my specialty and all. Well. One of my many specialties. Although at the moment the food situation's a bit more problematic. It's quite safe to say that this isn't exactly how I'd envisioned myself spending the Christmas season.... Oh, what am I on about? All my Christmases are like this.

Oh, and MacGyver. Not sure I really thanked you properly for finding that lovely Swiss Army knife for me! Well, I may have thanked you, briefly, but a quick thanks shouted in the heat of battle isn't really a proper thank you, is it? At least, I don't think it is. So, I'll take this opportunity to show my appreciation. It's quite nice to finally have something at least a bit like my sonic screwdriver, and I've a few ideas as to how to make it even more useful.

It's amazing what humans are doing with such a seemingly straightforward tool these days, isn't it? I mean, this little thing's even got a computer memory stick. Isn't that brilliant? It's so like humans to pack as much useful stuff as they can into the smallest space possible. The Swiss Army knife is like the skyscraper or tower block of the tool world!

...Wait. What was I talking about? Oh, yes. Heaters, time-skips, and food. Right. Er...I don't suppose there's much more I can say about that, really. Except that I hope everyone's getting on all right, I suppose.

( [Private // Hard] )

It's a pity the snow's seemed to have stopped, although I suppose it makes it a bit easier to get around. Still, it was nice to see actual snow for a change, as opposed to what looks like snow but is really something suitably morbid falling from the atmosphere such as ash from a recently-destroyed spaceship, or ballast from a mostly-destroyed spaceship.... I always seem to be around for the spaceship remains, never the snow. Story of my life, really! And real snow is absolutely lovely. Makes you want to go outside and, oh, I don’t know, frolic.

Not likely, considering the monster-inhabited state of this city, which I'm sure we're all sufficiently aware of. But still, s'nice thought, the frolicking. I missed out on most of that snow, seeing as I was indoors and on the mend for a while there, but since I'm right as rain now, hopefully I'll catch it the next time around.

Until then, at least, I'll have plenty to do if we ever manage to capture one of those fascinating crab things. Lately I've had such an urge to just scientifically analyze something.

Is that...? No. Is it? It couldn't be. And...a whale? That's not going to be a very pretty mess to clean u—

...And, cue the running! Always an outrageous amount of running involved....

[a long pause, followed by quite a loud crash, possibly a yell, and finally by very muffled words]

Oh...brilliant. Brilliant....

[more silence, then a groan]

And I...can't even....

[transmission abruptly ends]

Halloween. What an ingenious idea. I've never been an active participant in the whole to-do myself, but humans do have such a flair for fun, don't they? Donning costumes and running about in them, knocking on the doors of complete strangers.... Sounds positively thrilling.

Taking part in the original version would be even better, wouldn't it? Who could possibly resist a ninth century pagan festival? I think I'll pay it a little visit...if I ever get the bloody TARDIS back. Oh, and to everyone who's been helping me with that, you're all brilliant! I just think you ought to know that, really. I very much appreciate everything you've done to help, you lot.

I still think I'll opt out of the holiday this time, though. Changing one's appearance loses a bit of its appeal when one has been forced to do it so very many times already.

Was that our resident monster? Really?

Why, you're beautiful, aren't you? Just look at you.... Such a unique evolutionary pattern. No species I can recognize. Seems very unlikely it's something native to this planet....

The only disappointment was that I had to squint at it. Much too far away to make any conclusions, I'm afraid. I'm going to need a much closer viewing for that.

One can only hope she'll make another appearance, eh? I'm certainly looking forward to it.

Oh, really now, this just doesn't seem fair. Not my sonic.

First the TARDIS, and now my sonic screwdriver? I can't seem to find it anywhere. I'll freely admit to not being the most organized being in the universe, but I'm quite sure this isn’t a simple case of my misplacing it.

But...but I love my sonic screwdriver!

...Oh well.

So a few people are getting married here, apparently! Bit of an odd thing to do when there's danger about, but it's so utterly human. That's more like it! That's the human drive to keep on - not just surviving - but to keep on living, despite being stuck in the middle of most unfortunate circumstances.

Well done, you lot! This is precisely why the human race never ceases to fascinate me, really.

Now, that certainly wasn’t the smoothest landing in history of flying. In the history of flying through the Time Vortex, I ought to specify, as there are all manner of ways and vehicles in which one could be flying, aren’t there? I could be referring to any one of them, really, if I don’t include those little words and phrases such as “TARDIS” and “Time Vortex.”

And then that would just be confusing, and no one wants to put up with that. It’s good that I’m such a straightforward kind of bloke, really, so we can avoid all that confusion.

Oh, hang on then – where’s the TARDIS gotten to? Now, that’s quite unusual. I couldn’t have gotten here without it.... So, that leaves two relatively simple options. Either I was knocked unconscious and someone carted it off while I was out like a light, or.... Well, there simply isn’t any other explanation, is there? I’ve no idea what someone would want with a naff old blue Police Box, but then, there’s no accounting for taste.

While I’m asking questions, might anyone be so kind as to tell me what planet I’m on at the moment? This looks to be a metropolitan area. Well. Not so much a metropolitan area in general as a very specific, Earth-inspired city. Well. Not so much an Earth-inspired city as an exact replica of Earth’s New York. That sort of thing. It looks brilliant, actually.

So tell me, am I close?

...This isn’t actually the good old Earth, is it?